Jerry Fryar, Wilson Bryan Fryar Jr., Dad

My Dad was one of those special people who got more than one name.  I only mentioned a couple in the title, but he was also partial to JB and Jerry Bill and to at least one of his friends, "Fart."  To me, he was just Dad.

He died last night.

January 30, 2011 the complications of a rapidly progressing Parkinson's Disease claimed his body.  A couple of friends had visited him a bit earlier and found him sleeping.  I suspect that he passed in that sleep.   I was at a prayer service with my wife and kids.  It wasn't a special one; just the one we have each month.  Dad was on the list and many prayers were lifted to our gracious Heavenly Father for him and Mom.  The service concluded at about 7:00 - right about the time Dad entered the presence of the Lord.

There is much to do today.  It seems too early to eulogize him.  Maybe it is always that way, too early.  I promise to do it here, though.  In fact, I may be entrusted to assist with the funeral.  I don't know how to do that, but it seems better for me to do so, than to leave it to a minister who doesn't really know Dad.

He wasn't really much of a church-goer.   I don't mean that in a negative way, although I don't believe he was obedient to the Lord by withholding himself from corporate worship.  However, I accept that he know the Lord Jesus personally.  He expressed that to me on several occasions and I trust he is in the presence of the Lord even now.

I am glad I got to visit him night before last.  I took the whole family.  My kids and wife were all there. We talked to him and rubbed his feet.  I showed him pictures of Pierce's first basketball game.  We shared some time together.  It wasn't easy.  Seeing a body ravaged by Parkinson's is tough.  The Dad I knew, tough, fiery, opinionated, self-sufficient, strong and always bigger than me was no more.  Completely frozen and unable to talk, he was barely there.  I trust that he heard us and took comfort in our presence.  The Lord gave us, and especially me, the privilege to say a last, "I love you."  And for as many times as we argued, I am so thankful that those were my last words.

We will go and help Mom today.  So many decisions and plans need to be made.  In some ways these decisions are easier than those we thought we were facing 24 hours ago.

I have been praying for mercy.  And I believe that prayer has been answered.

I love you, Dad, and I miss you.

Reflection on Suffering

My dad has been in the hospital for 28 days, now.  It stated as a gastero-intestinal infection (that was bad enough in and of its self) and progressed into a couple of bouts with pneumonia.  To complicate matters, his Parkinson's was evidently advancing much more rapidly than anyone suspected.  Almost immediately after losing his exposure to the Parkinsonian medications, his symptoms progressed to stage five, complete inability to function, move, think, talk, swallow... he has remained in a virtually catatonic state.  Top all that off with a Parkinson's complication called Central Pain, which is extremely painful, and musculoskeletal pain, and gastero-intestinal pain, all Parkinson's related, a heavy dose of pain relievers such as Morphine have been daily regimens....  Wow.  How could I not be thinking about suffering and how it relates t the human condition, God's sovereignty, sin and our appropriate response.

I really don't intend a 20 page paper here, quite frankly, I have enough of those in another venue.  However, I thought I'd share some of the insights the Lord has allowed me through the course of prayer and meditation.  I have noticed that most people, when they pray for a suffering individual, pray for healing or relief.  It seems natural, maybe even scriptural. After all God promises to "heal all our diseases," right?  That "promise" is found in Psalm 103:3.  In context, one could argue that David is saying that God healed all David's disease, not ours.  Isn't there plenty of disease and suffering out there in the world, even among believers?  It could also be that God DOES heal all our disease, EXCEPT the last one, the consequence of sin which is natural death.  It is really the second case that I have thought about most in the last month.

I've thought about it mainly because it relates to the idea that within the process of living in this world, under the curse of sin, God seems to move in and through human suffering.  I think it is somewhat axiomatic that one either turns to God, or away from God in times of suffering. (Did you like that big academic word?) But, why is it that God appoints some to suffer in this life and others, well not so much?  Wouldn't it be easier to categorize suffering as deserved (justice or punishment), or testing, or pruning, or growth, or believer this and unbeliever that?  Yeah, that would be easier.  However, we all know it is not the case.

So, how is it that we Christians (and non-Christians) tend toward the only answer to suffering be healing and restoration, or put simply, non-suffering? Please, God heal all our disease!  Well, I'm not about to propose a thesis on the mind of God.  I do think that the basic axiom that suffering forces a turn to or from God is the point.  If our chief end is to glorify the Creator and Redeemer of our souls we will ultimately do just that, either in His grace (love) or His justice (wrath).  When we turn to God in our weakness we recognize His authority and open ourselves to the potential of His love and mercy that by grace He may choose to bestow upon us.  In this way, He chooses to allow us the opportunity, sometimes through our suffering.  IF you really want to ponder this idea, refer to James chapter 1 and reflect on how a trial, or a fiery trial could be counted joy... or 1 Peter 1...

I find myself praying now in light of recognizing God's mercy and grace, seeking to reveal the weight of His significance in my situations and in the lives of those around me.  I pray that He will be glorified, not just in the life of the person directly experiencing the physical impact of the suffering, but also those surrounding the person, family, friends who suffer emotionally, seeking answers or solis.

Last Sunday as I was meditating and praying on this as it relates to my Dad and Mom, I felt like the Lord pushed a thought into my conscious that He alone has a will for each life and that He alone appoints suffering or healing, life or death.  It is appointed, not random, not without cause or compassion.  I don't particularly enjoy seeing my Dad suffer.  The prognosis is not good.  Mom has been thrust into a world she neither understands, or is ready for.  But, I joy in that we are all focused upon and much more reliant in the providence of our Lord and the mercies and grace He has already allowed us to experience.  I pray for mercy.  I pray for grace.  I pray that we rely on and glorify the one and only God and reflect the love of His only Son.

There is much more.  I don't know if it will come out in this forum.  That will remain a mystery of the future.  That is quite enough for now.

Journaling 101

 As a part of my Spiritual Life class, I have been asked to keep a journal.  Honestly, I kind of smiled about this assignment.  For some reason, I already thought I had one going... here, well, maybe.  But, I think this will be a fine format for just this sort of thing.  Judging from the dwindling number of hits to this site, I don't have too much fear that someone will read something of such earth shattering personal import that I will suffer undue embarrassment.  But, it will be a nice to wax eloquently here again.  Really, it's been a while.


So, school has started in earnest.  Yes, it is a graduate level program and the reading and writing expectations are intense.  I have scheduled my life to the point of micromanagement, because I had to.  There simply is not a another way to get it all done.  But, I will unhesitatingly admit that, I believe the schedule demands of part time school and full time work are redonkulous!  Yep, I said redonkulous! (The actual first written usage of the work from Roald Dahl’s book The BFG according to STEVEN D. LEVITT of the blog Freakonomics: The Hidden Side of Everything.) 


Anyway, I digress... I will be blogging more, now that it is a requirement...hehehehe.  I might even have a serious thing or two to say (sarcasm, don't I always discuss serious thing here?)  As usual, there are a myriad of things swirling around at any given moment.  We'll catch up on a few shortly.  In the meantime, take a look at Psalm 8.  After you get passed the first few verses outlining the vast greatness and power of the Lord, look at verse 4. Who are we that God would consider us in the vastness of the universe and glory of His creation?  He created us a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned us with glory (v. 5)  He has given us charge of all nature (v. 6) How majestic is His name in all the earth! (v. 9)  Rejoice!  The Lord thinks much of you and me.  Let's dig into our relationship with Him and live life to the fullest!