I really surprised myself yesterday. After I posted, I went to my blog page just to see how long it had been since my previous post. I was shocked to find that the previous post was the same topic one month back. Nothing had changed. WOW. That discovery was the nexus of some serious prayer and introspection last night as I sought to identify causes and resolve change. I thought I might share a few of the highlights.
Things first started to get out of control heavily last July. That month marked the most travel I have ever had to do. I was away for most of the month without any quality time at home between trips. During that time, my family became very independent. That in its self is not a bad thing, it is just that I didn't seem to factor into their plans in the same way I had before. That started some serious stress for me because after I was around again, our schedules never seemed to sync. So, it was just like I wasn't there.
I attempted to make my work schedule fit into my family schedule by shifting my work time. For many years I have been an early riser. I would spend quality time with the Lord in the morning and get into work early. This would lead to my being able to get home early in the evening and to having time to spend with my family. But my boys got involved with all sorts of activities that take place in the late afternoon and early evening. So, when I did get home early, they were not there. Couple that with the tendency of people in my office to call meetings or want to discuss something starting at 5:00 and it just makes for a 9 or 10 hour day without benefit. Changing my schedule so that I came into work later and got home later seemed like a viable solution. I would get to see my family in the morning and get home in the evening when they did...right?
Wrong. I still didn't get to see my family. As it turned out, we ended up staying up later in the evenings and they slept later in the mornings. The later evenings just frustrated my wife and the time spent wasn't very good. At work, I had to hit the ground running and every day seemed like a sprint. Getting in later only caused me to rush around, cramped my early meetings and set a poor tone for the day. Additionally, the meetings late in the evening didn't stop, they just pushed out further. I guess that there are a lot of people that do nothing but work.
I don't want to be that guy, the guy that only works. I want balance. I want to be a part of my family as an active participant, not a spectator. So, I have resolved to get things back in order. That will require a great amount of commitment on my part and some risk as well. First, I am going to recognize that I need to rise early and have my quiet time. That sets the tone for my day. It is a must. I must also get into the office early. I need the time to prepare for and plan the day. If I don't have that time, every event seems to be handled in crisis management mode. That is unacceptable. I realize that I'll be getting home earlier and the boys will still be out, but that's OK. If I commit to leaving on time, I can be a more active participant in their world. I can get to soccer or MMA, late maybe, but I can still get there. That's where the risk comes in. I must commit to leaving on time, regardless.
I am going to attempt to put these measures into place starting today. I need serious prayer for the strength to do this and for protection from the risks. There are other things I have decided as well and I may share them at a later date. For now, let's see how today goes...
