I want to be a better dad. As I have watched my boys grow and mature, I realize that there are transitions I need to make. And while I am in the solace of the morning study, they seem so clear. However, when the heat of the day comes and fatigue sets in, the decisions are hard. I need to demonstrate the self discipline required to make the tough call and be a better dad.
Of the things most needed from me by my boys, relationship seems to be at the top of the list. It is much easier to be the disciplinarian. I come home from work and get an ear full of the issues of the day that I need to deal with. This tends to set the tone for the evening and the chance to just develop relationships dwindles. The weekends are too short and everything on Saturday and Sunday is a rush. I think that is part of why I so enjoy the hunting and fishing weekends - no rush.
I cannot count how many times that one of my sons has asked me to play or to interact some way with clearly unfinished chores or duties. I think they also feel the need to capitalize on the time together, yet I most often choose to make them meet their responsibilities. This takes the time we had for relationship and so it is lost. Please, don't get me wrong, I am not about to advocate that they be allowed to abdicate responsibilities, but there must be change enough that we get to play as well.
I don't have the answers, but I am trying. As a part of the things that I must get in order in my life, this is one of them. Nathan is 11 and within a few months of being 12. Pierce and 9 and thinks he is 12. The time is short to resolve this issue. So, as I begin this day, 1500 miles away from home, I will spend this time in prayer that God will give me the wisdom and self discipline to make this change before it is too late.
