First Deer

It was a good weekend this first of the 2011 whitetail season.  Out with my boys, we hurried to our hunting spot late Friday afternoon.  Rifle season had not yet arrived, so we took advantage of the last day of bow season.  We had hardly set up the ground blind when several deer rolled out of the woods.  Excitement ruled us, but they never presented an ethical bow shot.  We hoped Saturday would prove to be our day.

Up early the next morning, we were off to the stand.  The wind was up and conditions were less than optimal, not to mention that the woods seemed to be filled with hunters anxious to get out on the first day for rifles.  We saw several illegal bucks and some shooter does, but they were too far for a novice shooter.  The morning wound down without a shot.

The afternoon didn't look much better with the wind still up.  We decided to go down into the woods where we had seen the deer on Friday.  No luck.  All we saw were the two who snuck up behind us and winded us.  It was a long afternoon, but Pierce hung in there well. Sunday morning would be our last chance and hope was high for a good hunt.

Sunday morning came in with a warming temperature, overcast skies and a much calmer wind.  Things looked good.  As we started out for the blind, we saw a nice shooter 8-point near the house.  I took that as a good sign.  We got to the stand and got settled in.

At dawn, a nice sized deer slipped into a feeder about 80 yards away.  It was too dark yet to see if it was a doe or and illegal buck.  It turned out to be the latter, but the deer were definitely moving.  Not more than 20 minutes later, about 7 does slipped in.  Pierce was really excited when one presented an ideal broadside shot.  I gave him the go ahead.  It was a perfect shot.  The doe fell cleanly and Pierce joined the ranks of the hunter!

I am very proud of him.  He followed directions well and placed a clean kill shot.  The season is early and I'm hoping that Nathan get a chance to complete the rite of passage too this year. In the meantime - Way to go Pierce!!

Be Careful Little Eyes What you See...

I have heard folks talk about making covenants about various things.  And, generally I have no issues with them.  The idea of committing to some form of behavior to better a relationship or guarantee a promise (which sounds a bit redundant) is a good thing more or less.  I guess where I have struggled with the idea is in the observation of others making and then breaking of these covenants.  It has seemed that the most have an extremely hard time remaining true to that which they promise.  That is primarily why I have shied away a bit from making such commitments myself.

However, I feel compelled to make a covenant with myself.  I am not sure why, but God continues to place this thought in my heart.  At our seminary orientation, Chaplain Bill discussed making a covenant with his eyes to avoid impurity.  I was intrigued.  My eye for beautiful things has wandered a bit and I want to contain and content myself with the beauty already in my life.  I feel bombarded from all sides by images begging for my attention, especially images designed to stimulate my mind to lust.  I want to and need to protect myself from such temptation for mental wandering. Unfortunately, I know myself too well.  Making such a rash promise with myself would be a set up for failure.  So, I have pondered how to help get things in my favor.

The Lord has been faithful to my quest and allowed me to think through the issues and recognize where I am weak.  What I discovered is that shielding my eyes is simply not enough.  My mind is quick and images are not the only thing that stimulate it.  Music does a fine job also.  This revelation has set me back because music is and has been such a large part of my life.  I enjoy many genres and types.  However, I noticed that so much of music taps into the sensual, and in pop music most is overtly sexual. The mental stimulation received through the ears starts to roll around until the eyes want to join in the fun and then the dilemma is at hand, temptation is near and the battle is on.  I am tired of fighting this war and I need some new ammo to continue.

So, the idea of a covenant with my eyes persists.  It must be joined with a covenant with my ears too.  I don't think I can succeed at the one with out the other.  Please pray for me.  I do not want to fail.  As I approach the Throne of Grace, I will be entering into a covenant relationship in which I promise to vigilantly guard my eyes and ears.  This will be difficult and I expect the attacks to be intense.  Check ups and reports to follow...

There is so much truth in this simple children's song.  I think while it is disguised as a nursery level tune, it was meant for the adult singing it as well...

O be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little eyes what you see

There's a Father up above

And He's looking down in love

So, be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little ears what you hear

O be careful little ears what you hear

There's a Father up above

And He's looking down in love

So, be careful little ears what you hear

O be careful little hands what you do

O be careful little hands what you do

There's a Father up above

And He's looking down in love

So, be careful little hands what you do

O be careful little feet where you go

O be careful little feet where you go

There's a Father up above

And He's looking down in love

So, be careful little feet where you go

O be careful little mouth what you say

O be careful little mouth what you say

There's a Father up above

And He's looking down in love

So, be careful little mouth what you say

A Place of Dependence

During my foray into the seminary world, I have gained exposure to many things.  Not the least of which is the work of our Lord to tear away all that encumbers our service and dependence on Him.  I had wondered about the impending clash between my former career and the direction God has been taking me.  Many had encouraged (warned) me that weird things happen in seminary, especially with regard to money (or the lack of it).  It is fair to say that I acknowledged their advice, but didn't internalize it.  That is until I was laid off...

God has indeed allowed the clash to come sooner rather than later.  He has taken our means of earning away, yet He has provided.  Our bank account remains in a good place, our pantry full, our house warm.  All this to His glory alone, for it should not be.

As we step further in faith, enrolling for a full load in the spring semester, I look with anticipation for the Lord to make His name great among my family.  I anticipate a job for Jennifer and continued academic progress for me.  It is exciting.  Many of those I have come to respect in ministry were all taken on this journey by God.  I count it a privilege to be on the journey too.  May God bless you as He has blessed us making His abiding love known to us as we rely on Him and Him alone!

Proverbs 12:4

A worthy wife is a crown for her husband....  I must say, without a doubt, God has blessed me with a worthy wife.  She has been a crown for me through 18 years of marriage and will be for years to come.  I have never known a friend as loyal as her.  I have never known a family member as true.  When Jennifer and I entered into our commitment together, little did I know how much she would become my strength, my responsibility and the foundation for my discipline.  I want to honor her in all that I do, just as I honor the God who has blessed me through her.

I find it no small thing that Jesus compares our relationship with Him to a marriage.  It too is a crown and a blessing to know my savior as the foundational relationship in my life.  He has carried me, healed me, taught me and saved me though this life to be useful for Him in His kingdom.  What else could I do, but to offer all that I am to His service.

Hangin' with Paul Baloche

My brain is a bit fried right now!  I just spent and intense day and a half with Paul Baloche and his band at the Leadworship Conference.  What a privilege. The event was held at the beautiful Bent Tree Bible Fellowship church.  And the band members allowed us almost unfettered access to everything!  Too cool.

The event started out with an open sound check where we were invited to hang out on stage or in the sound booth.  We were encouraged to ask questions and the guys were free with answers.  Today, we had both morning and afternoon breakout sessions by instrument or technician.  Very informative.

As I have experimented with tone and technique in our praise team, the Lord has blessed my efforts.  But, I must say that events like the Leadworship Conference really help jump start the thinking and experimentation process.  I am totally looking forward to next Sunday.

I am sure that a trip to Guitar Center is also in order.  If one thing is true, no electric guitar player I know is anything less than a total geek when it comes to equipment.  I am no exception.  And today I got to sit with a pro and drool over the toys.  I'll try to hold back...  

Small Leak

I believe there are no such things as free puppies, kittens or lunches.  Likewise, there are no such things as small leaks...

That said, I got a call from my Mom informing me that one of the rent houses had a leak in the shower.  Of course, I asked, "How bad is it?"  "Not too bad," she said, "I think that it's just dripping."  I thought to myself, "No problem.  I'll just go over there and replace the valve stems."  Yeah, right...

I got there and removed the handles, So far, so good.  Then I removed one of the stems and the diverter; no problem.  The last stem...well, let's just say that's where the trouble started.  As it turns out, the brilliant person installing the stem before me cross threaded the stem.  Who knows how long it has been leaking.   The stem did not want to some out.  What could I do?  Not much; I know.  So....I forced it.  Nice!   It came out, all of it, including all of the insides of the valve body...in pieces!  Great!

But, that's not the half of it.  After I cut into the closet behind the shower valve to remove it, I noticed the dry wall didn't look so good.  A quick nick from the saw I used to remove the valve body and a whole section of wall crumbled!  The entire wall from the valves down to the tub was rotten.  I have never seen dry wall crumble like that.  It simply fell off the wall leaving the tile held together by the grout!  Now, I had a dry wall replacement, tile replacement and shower replacement!  Why?!?!  What does it mean?!?!?

OK, five trips to Arlington, $240 dollars later and one sore body, it is fixed.  Check out the picture for the "after" state (sorry, the tub wasn't final cleaned when I took the pic).  Imagine a hole through the wall into the closet as wide as the tub and as tall as the valves.  Yep, it was big.  Please, don't ever tell me you have a small leak.  If you do, I just might save you the trouble and tell you to call a contractor!  A plumber might not do it!

Breather

I think I need one.  Mid-term's are coming and study is in order.  I think that's shy the reading schedule lightened up a bit.  I was so stunned by the time I had in the afternoons this week, I really didn't know what to do.  But, the Lord saw to it that I didn't waste time or get distracted.  He allowed a nice week of overtime to commence by demand.  Actually, I'm glad He scheduled that for a time when the schoolwork slowed a bit.

Be praying for Jennifer if you think of it.  She had pneumonia not too long ago.  I don't really think she ever recovered completely.  The cough seemed to linger.  She finally decided to go back to the doctor and got an antibiotic.  Feeling a bit better, she resumed her subbing schedule and promptly caught a virus.  Now, she's back down with fever and chills.  Prayer is in order.

I might add that things are more crazy at work than normal.  The internal politics seem to be ramping up.  I shouldn't take any of that with to much import, after all, the Lord is in control and all I want to do is serve Him.  I need to stay focused.  We started a prayer group in the office.  I think Satan will attack it.  There are many unbelievers there.  Maybe you could pray for our effective ministry and their salvation.

Cool Thanks...

Seeing the World

I don't think I am that unlike most Christians today. I love the Lord, try to serve Him, struggle with sin, etc. And, I tend to view the world as corrupt, ugly, cursed, evil and ruled by the Prince of the Air.  But lately, God has really been challenging my perceptions.

Please allow me to lay a foundation for my viewpoint.  I have always seen the love of God expressed int he world through the revelation of His common grace.  That is the beauty of nature, the warmth of the sun, the seasons, His administration of the earth, etc.  In fact, that is one of the primary reasons I enjoy hunting and fishing.  Those activities allow me to experience God's grace and reflect on it without the distractions of a totally man-made environment. (Ok, I realize that there is only one natural lake in Texas and that all the ones I fish are reservoirs, but they are inhabited by nature and I am not in a concrete jungle filled with noisy cars, just jet skis and boats, which is why we fish early and late... You just assumed it was because that was when the fish were biting!)  However, I now believe there is more to the perception of God's love revealed in the world than just these.

Psalm 8, 33 and 119 all mention that the world is filled with God's majesty, unfailing love and lovingkindness.  Psalm 8 and Hebrews 2 that man was made a little lower than the heavenly beings and in Genesis 1 that we bear in our essence the image of God.

When I read these things and reflect on them, I cannot but come to the conclusion that we are so very special and that God fills the earth with the presence of His love in relationship to us as the jewel of this creation to glorify Him.  So what good is it for me to recognize and focus on the evil in the world?  How do I effectively prepare my heart for love, especially love beyond myself, without recognizing God's love in the world.  This will take more than simply reveling in God's common grace.  It will take a conscious decision to look at creation, especially man, and see the love of God.

This understanding has the potential to revolutionize how I live the Christian life and view my own sanctification.  Ponder the verses in the passages I mentioned above and ask yourself if you see a world filled with God's love, or not?

Separated at Birth? Maybe...

There are two people in my life that do not know each other, have never met, don't share a field of study or even live remotely near each other.  But, they are cut from the same mold.  I smile.

The first is a famous hydrologist (well famous in certain circles).  He resides in the western US, plays guitar and enjoys photography.  He has a great sense of humor and witty insight.  He loves to write and truly see things from a thoughtful, analytical, academic perspective.  He is a former professor of engineering.

The second is a famous theologian (I'm sure there is a circle) and current professor of systematic theology at a respected seminary in the south.  His sense of humor and love of music characterize his personality as does his analytical mind and academic thought processes.  Besides, anyone who would play Sinead O'Conner followed by Wilco in class deserves some respect in by book or at least a check on the cool meter.

I must say that I cannot help but laugh a little and smile a lot every time I am in class with Dr. Kreider.  I haven't told him he has a long lost brother.  I might.  In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy his lectures while I reminisce about good times with Dr. Thompson.

Check out these pics of each.  If I hadn't told you how similar they are in personality and mannerism, you'd still think they are related!  The one on the left is Dr. Thompson, on the right is Dr. Kreider.

You know, maybe Dr. Kreider and I will turn out to be good friends too.  You never know.

The Day After

It is Saturday morning.   There's still an abundance of snow on the ground.  We held funeral services for Dad yesterday.  It snowed the night before and there was a nice blanket of 5 to 6 inches greeting us.  That kept many from coming out to pay respects.  Mom's phone rang all morning.  In spite of all that, a good crowd numbering abut 60 showed.  I thought the service went well.  God gave me the strength and peace to make it through.  Many thought it was fitting and respectful. I hope Dad was proud.

My thoughts are jumbled and coming in short bursts.  Maybe that's because there are so many in there.  Too much to organize right now...  So, forgive me the free writing, it's all I seem to be able to do.

The image is from our back patio yesterday morning.  I used the Hipstamatic app on my iPhone to capture the image.  I think it captured my feelings in a was I simply cannot describe yet.

Jerry Fryar, Wilson Bryan Fryar Jr., Dad

My Dad was one of those special people who got more than one name.  I only mentioned a couple in the title, but he was also partial to JB and Jerry Bill and to at least one of his friends, "Fart."  To me, he was just Dad.

He died last night.

January 30, 2011 the complications of a rapidly progressing Parkinson's Disease claimed his body.  A couple of friends had visited him a bit earlier and found him sleeping.  I suspect that he passed in that sleep.   I was at a prayer service with my wife and kids.  It wasn't a special one; just the one we have each month.  Dad was on the list and many prayers were lifted to our gracious Heavenly Father for him and Mom.  The service concluded at about 7:00 - right about the time Dad entered the presence of the Lord.

There is much to do today.  It seems too early to eulogize him.  Maybe it is always that way, too early.  I promise to do it here, though.  In fact, I may be entrusted to assist with the funeral.  I don't know how to do that, but it seems better for me to do so, than to leave it to a minister who doesn't really know Dad.

He wasn't really much of a church-goer.   I don't mean that in a negative way, although I don't believe he was obedient to the Lord by withholding himself from corporate worship.  However, I accept that he know the Lord Jesus personally.  He expressed that to me on several occasions and I trust he is in the presence of the Lord even now.

I am glad I got to visit him night before last.  I took the whole family.  My kids and wife were all there. We talked to him and rubbed his feet.  I showed him pictures of Pierce's first basketball game.  We shared some time together.  It wasn't easy.  Seeing a body ravaged by Parkinson's is tough.  The Dad I knew, tough, fiery, opinionated, self-sufficient, strong and always bigger than me was no more.  Completely frozen and unable to talk, he was barely there.  I trust that he heard us and took comfort in our presence.  The Lord gave us, and especially me, the privilege to say a last, "I love you."  And for as many times as we argued, I am so thankful that those were my last words.

We will go and help Mom today.  So many decisions and plans need to be made.  In some ways these decisions are easier than those we thought we were facing 24 hours ago.

I have been praying for mercy.  And I believe that prayer has been answered.

I love you, Dad, and I miss you.

Reflection on Suffering

My dad has been in the hospital for 28 days, now.  It stated as a gastero-intestinal infection (that was bad enough in and of its self) and progressed into a couple of bouts with pneumonia.  To complicate matters, his Parkinson's was evidently advancing much more rapidly than anyone suspected.  Almost immediately after losing his exposure to the Parkinsonian medications, his symptoms progressed to stage five, complete inability to function, move, think, talk, swallow... he has remained in a virtually catatonic state.  Top all that off with a Parkinson's complication called Central Pain, which is extremely painful, and musculoskeletal pain, and gastero-intestinal pain, all Parkinson's related, a heavy dose of pain relievers such as Morphine have been daily regimens....  Wow.  How could I not be thinking about suffering and how it relates t the human condition, God's sovereignty, sin and our appropriate response.

I really don't intend a 20 page paper here, quite frankly, I have enough of those in another venue.  However, I thought I'd share some of the insights the Lord has allowed me through the course of prayer and meditation.  I have noticed that most people, when they pray for a suffering individual, pray for healing or relief.  It seems natural, maybe even scriptural. After all God promises to "heal all our diseases," right?  That "promise" is found in Psalm 103:3.  In context, one could argue that David is saying that God healed all David's disease, not ours.  Isn't there plenty of disease and suffering out there in the world, even among believers?  It could also be that God DOES heal all our disease, EXCEPT the last one, the consequence of sin which is natural death.  It is really the second case that I have thought about most in the last month.

I've thought about it mainly because it relates to the idea that within the process of living in this world, under the curse of sin, God seems to move in and through human suffering.  I think it is somewhat axiomatic that one either turns to God, or away from God in times of suffering. (Did you like that big academic word?) But, why is it that God appoints some to suffer in this life and others, well not so much?  Wouldn't it be easier to categorize suffering as deserved (justice or punishment), or testing, or pruning, or growth, or believer this and unbeliever that?  Yeah, that would be easier.  However, we all know it is not the case.

So, how is it that we Christians (and non-Christians) tend toward the only answer to suffering be healing and restoration, or put simply, non-suffering? Please, God heal all our disease!  Well, I'm not about to propose a thesis on the mind of God.  I do think that the basic axiom that suffering forces a turn to or from God is the point.  If our chief end is to glorify the Creator and Redeemer of our souls we will ultimately do just that, either in His grace (love) or His justice (wrath).  When we turn to God in our weakness we recognize His authority and open ourselves to the potential of His love and mercy that by grace He may choose to bestow upon us.  In this way, He chooses to allow us the opportunity, sometimes through our suffering.  IF you really want to ponder this idea, refer to James chapter 1 and reflect on how a trial, or a fiery trial could be counted joy... or 1 Peter 1...

I find myself praying now in light of recognizing God's mercy and grace, seeking to reveal the weight of His significance in my situations and in the lives of those around me.  I pray that He will be glorified, not just in the life of the person directly experiencing the physical impact of the suffering, but also those surrounding the person, family, friends who suffer emotionally, seeking answers or solis.

Last Sunday as I was meditating and praying on this as it relates to my Dad and Mom, I felt like the Lord pushed a thought into my conscious that He alone has a will for each life and that He alone appoints suffering or healing, life or death.  It is appointed, not random, not without cause or compassion.  I don't particularly enjoy seeing my Dad suffer.  The prognosis is not good.  Mom has been thrust into a world she neither understands, or is ready for.  But, I joy in that we are all focused upon and much more reliant in the providence of our Lord and the mercies and grace He has already allowed us to experience.  I pray for mercy.  I pray for grace.  I pray that we rely on and glorify the one and only God and reflect the love of His only Son.

There is much more.  I don't know if it will come out in this forum.  That will remain a mystery of the future.  That is quite enough for now.

Journaling 101

 As a part of my Spiritual Life class, I have been asked to keep a journal.  Honestly, I kind of smiled about this assignment.  For some reason, I already thought I had one going... here, well, maybe.  But, I think this will be a fine format for just this sort of thing.  Judging from the dwindling number of hits to this site, I don't have too much fear that someone will read something of such earth shattering personal import that I will suffer undue embarrassment.  But, it will be a nice to wax eloquently here again.  Really, it's been a while.


So, school has started in earnest.  Yes, it is a graduate level program and the reading and writing expectations are intense.  I have scheduled my life to the point of micromanagement, because I had to.  There simply is not a another way to get it all done.  But, I will unhesitatingly admit that, I believe the schedule demands of part time school and full time work are redonkulous!  Yep, I said redonkulous! (The actual first written usage of the work from Roald Dahl’s book The BFG according to STEVEN D. LEVITT of the blog Freakonomics: The Hidden Side of Everything.) 


Anyway, I digress... I will be blogging more, now that it is a requirement...hehehehe.  I might even have a serious thing or two to say (sarcasm, don't I always discuss serious thing here?)  As usual, there are a myriad of things swirling around at any given moment.  We'll catch up on a few shortly.  In the meantime, take a look at Psalm 8.  After you get passed the first few verses outlining the vast greatness and power of the Lord, look at verse 4. Who are we that God would consider us in the vastness of the universe and glory of His creation?  He created us a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned us with glory (v. 5)  He has given us charge of all nature (v. 6) How majestic is His name in all the earth! (v. 9)  Rejoice!  The Lord thinks much of you and me.  Let's dig into our relationship with Him and live life to the fullest!